In March cryptic signs appeared at the top of our steps telling us of a poetry competition. The winner would gain fabulous wealth and prestige. [Actually, the prize was a gift certificate to the bookstore]. So one night, in a bout of procrastination some of my suitemates and I sat in the lounge and brain-stormed. And what follows are our poems.

WARNING!While not overtly obscene, there are some mature themes in these poems that might offend the casual reader.

Further note... sadly, none of our poems won the prize. The Talbot Hall song did garner one vote however....

Poems in the Key of Talbot

by the Guys in the Basement
the following transcribed by Vince Weaver, many heavily influenced by Darth Tater
"A Haiku"
Down in the basement
Away from the sun's warm glow
I live in Talbot.

Talbot Hall has a trait that is odd
It doesn't abut on a quad
The people do shout
And wander about
Seeking a chance to maraud.

On Thursday our suite is a sight
We hold a giant cock fight
With lechers and hookers
And many onlookers
And gambling into the night

Talbot Hall is a dank dark hole
Whose character oppresses my soul
I hope that one day
I will get away
Before I turn into a troll.

One day I learned with elation
That Talbot can stop radiation
But then came the war
Which blew down the door
And now I have many a mutation

My roommate, he is obsessed
With women scantily dressed
He downloads porn
From evening 'till morn
At a rate that leaves me impressed.

The residents of Talbot are devious
Supremely evil and mischievous
They, by inaction
Drive to distraction
RA Dave who has to oversee us.

More Basement Poems
these by Darth Tater

A Limerick
In Talbot 0101C
There lives a giant bee
Don't open the door
For there before
Will be a big giant bee.

Talbot Hall
Giant Stall
It is clean
Low esteem

In Talbot Hall
I sit alone
I hate this

Down in the basement you'll see
A robot who looks just like me
Except for the fact
That what I lack in tact
The robot makes up for in greed

"A Song to Talbot"
by Dave Bindel
Sung to the Tune of "America The Beautiful" [O beautiful for spacious skies...]

O Beautiful, four spacious rooms
For beds with wooden frames
For purple's carpet majesty
And mostly unclogged drains
O Talbot Hall, O Talbot Hall we spend our time in thee
And get Pepsi and cold Brisk Tea from our soda machine.

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