Once upon a morning dreary,
As I pondered, tired, weary,
Over many Antiquated books of English homework,
All at once I heard a tapping,
As if someone slowly rapping,
Rapping, Tapping, Clapping, on my sliding glass door.
"'Tis a burglar," said I,"And nothing more,
"Who is jimmying open my sliding glass door-
This it is and nothing more."
All at once I heard a shudder,
And I said with a silent mutter,
"Darn this crime! The Policeman strike!"
"A burglar's trying to steal my bike!"
So I quickly grabbed my baseball bat,
Running to knock that crook's head flat.
I quickly ran, to that door,
But no burglar was on the floor.
I quickly realized that my poor-
Ears could be trusted... nevermore.
Very soon the noise came back,
And I was ready for a quick attack,
But I saw there was, or rather, a lack,
Of burglars for which to hack.
A robin, dressed all in black,
With a breast of red, and no more,
Was standing at the door.
Quoth the Robin..."Omnivore"
"Why?" asked I, "Quoth you that?"
"Aren't you out of your habitat?"
And the robin with a flirt and flutter,
Very silently began to stutter,
And with a very low voice began to mutter,
"Herbivore, Carnivore, Omnivore, Nevermore!"
I began to think it wack-o,
And tried to shoo it in a sack-o,
And if it gave me any flack-o,
I would it start to cut and hack-o,
While pelting it with dried tobacco,
With thoughts of this delightful chore,
Quoth the Robin "Omnivore!"
This was no more any fun,
I wanted this robin on the run,
As I raised my ma-chine gun,
The robin landed on the floor,
Saying, "Please sir, your forgiveness I implore,
But I was wondering...Omnivore?"
Quickly, then, I pulled the trigger,
And the gun left forth a bigger
Explosion than I had ever heard before.
I do not know if I hit that robin,
I think from fear its heart stopped throbbin'
But I will not start a sobbin'
'Cause for supper I had roasted robin
And be it answered evermore-
"Yes, I am a Carnivore!"
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