Building for Outstanding Achievement in the
Field of Excellence
Alumni! Although you never come near JC anymore, we need your money.
The infrastructure of JC needs some major upgrading. We have decided that
now, after you have long since graduated, is the time to start these
exciting plans. We are building for Outstanding Achievement in the Field
of Excellence!
New Athletic Complex
Artists Conception of Future
John Carroll has always had high standards in the field of excellence for
athletics.
Proposed Additions
- Pool moved from 4th floor to new complex.
- Squash Court.
- 18 Hole miniature Golf course.
- Racketball Court
- Cyborg Badminton Court
- Luxury stadium with luxury skyboxes.
- Small un-ventilated room for all women's sports.
- Note.. due to expense luxury stadium will not have lights for night
games.
The big improvement will be the giant stadium with luxury skyboxes. How
better to say you are a rich alumni than to sit in your catered,
air-conditioned room and watch JC football games? Since leaving the
Harford County league, JC even occasionally wins games too!
Remember, PSL and season tickets won't pay for these improvements
themselves. We need YOUR help to raise the money needed to make this
happen.
New Fine Arts Wing
Artists Conception of New Wing
With the influx of young freshman, there has been a heightened need for a
new fine-arts wing to train all these young people in the ways of fine
art.
Proposed Additions
- Rollercoaster [for fun and profit].
- Waterslide. [for fun and profit]
- Giant Cannon [for defense]
- A coffee shop.
- Interrogation room.
- New patriot room with gaudy decor.
- Small, un-airconditioned rooms for teaching English.
- Cheap, second-rate lockers for new homerooms.
We hope you can help contribute to our marvelous new Fine Arts wing. The
Rollercoaster and Waterslide will be used not only for departmental
meetings, but also to raise money during the JC Fair. This wing will
provide Pride and Tradition to our already overwhelming sense of
Excellence at JC.
Please, send your money today!
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